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06th July 2012
I proposed her (Nisha).. We were friends before but from past one month when I was far from her, was missing her badly.. That were the days i realised that she is not just a friend, yes i m in love with her… You know the nerves all around my mind, feelings, tensions what will she say, what if she said no but god i want her in my life… I want to kiss her, i want to hug her..
Yes i said her… Simply just called her I love you she replied, me too.. Yes i was out if world, what a feeling that is.. We talked n kept on talking, i asked her to verbally say it again, she was blushing.. But she said it.. God i loved her so much..
26th July 2012
I was on my first date with her.. had prepared everything, cakes, gifts, rose, chocolates.. I actually hate all this preparation but i know she gonna love all this.. She was looking pretty, specially her face was glowing, she had the perfect smile.. When i use to see her smiling, seriously i felt like everything is great.. I wanted to kiss her that day, to feel her body.. n yes i did this.. we had spend a wonderful time.. thnku for being there..
Days passed by, i had got the best girl any1 could get, she loves me, cares me, understand my tantrums, anger, i can put all my frustrations on her still she shall only help me to make peace and b happy.. Frankly speaking i m a jerk, egoistic, always annoyed but she changed my life, i couldn’t believe that any1 could do this much for other person.. Dude she made my life.. now i use to enjoy my life, i know what happiness means.. She gave me everything and never demanded anything in return..
But slowly i realised that this is my dream life what i m spending, even though i never want to end this but still the reality is my family.. I was so nervous, tensed i really didn’t want to loose her, she is the best thing happened to me, she understands me fully, she loves me to the limit.. I gathered all the strength went my hometown, i told my mom all about this she was of another caste, my mom started crying she said no never is this possible.. i cried, i pleaded still what all my family was concerned of was my family name, what society would say, how would we face the society..
I cried, i cried alott.. I cant go against my family bcoz i love them so much.. They have only made me what i m today but what should i do i loved her, n i know no other person in this universe can give me what happiness she shall.. But i was helpless, my family shall never understand this love, feelings.. For them its all about name sake..
02nd Feb 2013,
I told her, we cant get married.. My family didn’t approved, n i cant go against my family.. She was numb, she didn’t utter a word.. She was crying n she kept on crying.. I know how much she loves me this much that she shall never ask me to go against my family.. But she was hurt, still she said its okay.. we shall be friendz forever don’t worry i shall b there for u whenever u need me, because one thing is for sure i cant stop loving u n either i can live widout knowing that u r okay.. God i knew no girl on this earth can do this but she loved me this much that she knew i won’t b able to live happily widout her so she would stay..
Today i knew what love is, i had a girl beside me who widout any future was ready to stay because she knew i cant hurt my mom but neither can i survive widout her..
14th Aug 2013
I got engaged.. Nisha was broken she wanted to go very far from the city, but still she was standing there, smiling.. because all she wanted was just my happiness.. I wanted to live my whole life with her, holding her hands, loving her, wanted to sleep every night beside her, wanted her every tear to stop and jus give her happiness, i wanted to die with her.. But in reality even neither i did expressed all this to her, in this relation it was only her giving everything n i always helpless.. I wanted to marry her but if i did so what about my family, i wanted to be the best son too..
I thought its matter of time sum other person shall enter my life, i shall move on.. and Nisha shall be at least be a friend whole my life.. this is the best thing to do and so i did it.. I got engaged to Komal..
Komal n i started talking.. it was tough for me, she was quite too opposite to me.. My family didn’t hear me when i told that might be this girl not good match for me.. She was a great girl by heart but else we have everything different, i use to get irritated while talking to… I was getting more irritated, frustrated, the only power i had was Nisha yet being side my me, she was there telling me its okay u have to do this, consoled me… In all this stuff i didn’t even realized the person suffering the most is Nisha and i just kept nagging about my problems, i got cached in between and all this stuff.. but as the tym passed by nisha noticed that komal can never understand me, she n i would never make a good couple and this was the first time Nisha told me that u r committing biggest mistake don’t marry Komal bcoz u won’t b able to lead a happy life..She wanted my future secure, so she cried, she forced, she did everything she could bcoz she knew i won’t b happy if i married that girl.. But yes i was a stupid i didn’t listen nisha all i did was blaming her that please move on, don’t try to push me back, i had made my decision and please understand me etc etc.. I was an idiot not to notice that she is doing all this just to give me strength for making my life a happy one, she knew that i had got engaged to a wrong choice and even family is important but practically if anyway i broke my engagement then family would have no choice except her and when we both shall be together in span of time would convince the family too.. But at that time all my head was full of that she is not understanding me, she is becoming an emotional fool, i cant see my family sad, i had many karz of my family.. I wish i could see that even i married her, she would give everything of hers for my family and even it be 1- 2 years but we both would get my family convinced, all i had to do was just to find a way to marry her.. Even didn’t i noticed her sufferings, how she is feeling i getting attach to other person, she has to love sum1 else, allow her body to be touched by another man.. Dude i didn’t even said sorry to her because she has to do all this for my family n me..
But as i told i was an idiot, i had no strength, neither any guts n nor the ability to turn things in my way.. i was not able to see that all my decision is doing is destroying everyone life’s..
I had a courtship period of 4 months with no feelings attached, yet till marriage date i didn’t liked to spend time with komal, she annoys me, all i was doing was formality for my family sake and still i married Komal with a hope that as time passes by we both shall get attached, i would love her and my family shall be happy too..
I got married.. Komal was a decent girl, we were living with whole of our family.. Days passed by, she was my wife, she is my responsibility all this was the feeling i had.. 24 hours with her was annoying me but i was smiling for my family.. Nisha got married too n went away, i knew deep inside her heart she was very hurt bcoz she always thought Whatever happens i would marry her but becoz of me she too had compromised her life..
One month passed by, yet i wasn’t that interested to touch komal but she is my wife, she is my responsibility thinking all this i made my step i kissed her.. God i was crying in my heart, i wanted Nisha, i cant be of any other girl.. But still i cant show all this, seeing my family smiling i was spending my days.. Now i n komal had to moved out of the city, now it was only she and me in the house.. All we were doing was just fighting, because she wasn’t able to understand me, support me and i wasn’t able to do all the childish things she wanted to..
I wasn’t happy.. i was jus going on frustrating more and now even my family blaming me for all this.. Still for my family sake was adjusting with her.. was now just focusing on my career.. After i got married Nisha drew away, she got her job transfered another city, she went off without saying anything, jus saying take care n b hppiee, after some months i was unable to live so i called her, she picked up.. n u know what now my inner happiness is just when i spoke to Nisha even though for 2 minutes in a month…
Today i m standing here.. I give Komal everything that she wants, i take care of her but frankly i have no support left (family who never understood me, Komal who never can understand me).. Yes I have a kid the only happiness that gives me, but i had a relation with my wife of full dissatisfaction, arguments, compromise, care..I loved my mom alott and she loved me too but see my family got busy in their stuff just saying its ur life you have to manage, see for them i did this n today still they are not satisfied by me and keep on saying just that its your relation, your life, i wish they could say the same 2 years back..
I wish i could change my decision that day, i wish i could have some courage and not married Komal, listen to Nisha, yes she was right.. I wish my friends or anyone on earth show me what i m doing, stopped me anyhow doing this.. I wish i would have at least told Komal only about all this so that she won’t marry me, I wish Nisha was there in my life holding my hand.. Its not i didn’t tried or i cheated her, its not i didn’t gave hints to Komal during my courtship period, i did.. I did all the things that were in my hands to make Komal happy but she n i are totally different n today i smile, i m happy person for everyone but deep inside i m dying.. i have lost everything from the day i married Komal and Nisha went away, n god today 3 years have passed, n now toh i have no hopes left of my being a happy life, actually today i wanted to go somewhere very far away from everything but neither could i do this also..
Guys seriously i had wasted my life and see today no one is happy, neither my family, nor my wife and neither was Nisha.. Please if you had got some true love in your life don’t let her/him go, you think you are doing a thing for your family but on a real sense you are just a coward.. Stop here, make any way to make her/him stay in your life either be ready to be a another Ravi (Me)..
Love is the best feeling, if you had got a perfect girl don’t let her go.. Neither i m saying to run away n get married, but make any way to just marry her and believe me you are great son/daughter even though u r doing this bcoz you both shall serve your family whole your life fully hearted, initial you family shall be dishurted, angry, crying but you know what just 4-5 months n it shall be solved but if you took the step as i did then whole your life be ready to stay like me.. Get your brains out and don’t make a decision from where there is no come back..
Please don’t… and friends if your friend/cousin any person is doing this please stop her/him to do so.. Go and slap them out tell them u r an idiot, or just at least make them read my story or even you can ask them to contact on ravi889@gmail.com… The person facing this situation might won’t be able to understand that marrying a wrong person is not the solution but guys being there close ones you could…
Remember you have got one life, don’t destroy yours and others just for sake of the society, by doing this u aren’t making u family feeling proud, u r just proving to b a loser who in future shall keep on crying why that day i didn’t did something..
P.S: I loved and still love u Nisha.. I m sorry, i realized this later which u have sensed much before.. I m sorry i didn’t told u how much i loved you, i just kept on complaining you in the days were you needed me the most, i m sorry i thought u r not able to understand my condition.. Instead i knew u were jus trying to stop me from committing a mistake.. Today i know its too late but i just want to say I love u and thank you n i wish i could understand what u were trying to do, i wish i could believe u n do the things in the way u asked me to, i wish i could make us together forever..I miss u, I miss being us..
It was 4th June 2014,
My parents got an marriage proposal for me.. They really liked guys basic profile qualified iitian, well settled, same city, good looks n single person to live his family at other station.. They were excited, went and met him, his family and were delited to meet them..
I a fun loving girl who always dreamt of my prince and my romantic life.. My parents arranged a meeting for us were we hardly talked for an hour..
I wanted to chit chat more wid him before making an decision, but being a girl my parents didnt listen to me and the guy himself didnt approach me for chatting.. but seeing everyone satisfied and all my basic needs were fulfilled i said a yes..
On 14 July 2014, at 1:00 pm,
We were engaged.. I had my butterflies, was so excited and nervous as well.. I looked in his eyes and holded his hands, feeling yes he is my soulmate.. Yes i had got my prince charming..
Our courtship period started, we started to talk.. He seemed to be agorant and dominating, i thought its initial al shall bcum well as tym passes.. But he had good qualities too, he use to gave respct to my parents, good company to my cousins, was initelligent n intelltual.. But when it use to come to our relation, i dont know him..
Gradually we use to fight every day, we both wanted our relation to work.. after fights he use to apolozige and confirm me al shall bcum right as tym passes by.. Days passed it was 20 days we got engaged but i wasn’t happy.. He was of character full opposite to me, we had nothing in common.. I told my mom about it, she adviced me as tym passes al shall go well, every girl has to adjust.. For her n my family he was the best guy in the city and i being the dumb one to complain about him..
I thought n thought and decided that okay i shall adjust, i shall try to change myself.. Days passed by now we didnt use to fight that much bcoz i started to stay numb and accept Whtevr he says..
2 months passed, yet we had no strings attached.. We met twice or thrice in between but i felt that was i wrong about my romanctic love stories in real there’s nothing so, our meeting just was seeming a formality to both of us.. He was a nice guy, i use to say this to myself and console me that i m lucky to have him..
But was i actually lucky or was just being pushed by my family? I was confused, i was hurted.. I m nt blaming him might be he also have the same feelings.. But yes we were very opposite, our talks and chats now just had bcame a formality.. I was giving my 100% but nothing was changing.. I was just becoming more disturbed..
Now 4 mnths went off, yes i use to care about him, yes he use to call me and ask how is al going.. But love, no where between us.. Yes we didnt even had said i love u, i like you or i miss u.. There is sumthng wrng, is actually he made for me or its just bcoz of our indian tradition we both are just going on to continue and thinkng al shall go right..
I again talked to my family.. They said once you shall go and live with him, tum sab sikha dogi usse.. Sab Thikk hojayega, arrange marriage mein adjustment krna padhta h..
5 mnths went we had our marriage after one month.. but one path i was excited yes my marriage, new relations but on the other hand what if hum dono ke bich yuhi chalta raha, shayad usse main pasand nhi aa rhi hongi par uske ghrwale bhi usse kuch krne nhi de rhe honge.. Will we both actually lead a good romantic life or lifetym we both will just for sake of our families try to b happy but deep inside will he love me???
I gathered all the strength and sat one day, shut my door.. Called him and asked, what are we doing from past 5 months.. We have yet no strings attached.. On real sense, neithr you or me yet we both didnt know each other.. Its not wrking.. I wanted a beautiful life but see what has happen, will whole our life we both like this only.. Are u actually happy wid me.. He was numb, his silence was saying many things to me..
Yes he was silent, i promised him i won’t let anythng go out but please speak.. He again told and try to consoled me that as time passes by all things shall get well, we both shall lead a great life.. But this time this was not enough.. Was i just a fool, who was thnkng ki riste nibhana h mjhe and after marriage sab thik hoga, deep in my heart i knew yes i m acting like a fool..
I askd him again, is this all stuff that your family told u or u actually think so, this tym he said yes he too is not happy but his family are not listening to him, his family jus wanted that their name doest get spoiled.. Sagaai hogyi h ab kya bolke thodenge ki dono ki jam nhi rahi… I was shattered.. Yes what culture do we have, were happiness of kids are not imp. But family names are.. N he being a boy just to save his family name spoiling life of two persons, if in 3-4 mnths we have no strings attached how d hell my life shall be after marriage..
I opened the door, cried n kept on crying i. Front of my dad and told him dad, he is a very different man, right from my engangemnt to til date evry 3rd day i m just crying.. I cant please dad i cant.. please backoff.. we had lots of agruements in our family everybody cursed me, adviced me not to do so.. But i was firm bcoz yes its me who has to live my life that to alone with all new relations, but i cnt live with such a guy..
Today, i am happy, i am very happy.. that decision was best decision of my life, yes at that tym evrythng seemed difficult, ladki ka naam kharab hojayega, kaun shaadi krega aisi ladki se, society mein naam kharab, his mom dad ko kaise face karu etc etc.. but that one step and today i m married, i got man of my dreams, yes now i had my best romantic life..
Girls out there, tym ke saath kuch Thikk nhi hota, hona hota toh ab tak ho chuka hota… If you are not able to have that love bond in 3 mnths aftr engmnt then understand, something is wrong, sit and think can u share whole our life with such a guy, its ur tym to take that step.. Instead think u r lucky enough that atleast you got long courtship period, what if ye tumhe shaadi ke baad realize hota..Parents wil always overlook this matter bcoz u dnt have any strng point that cn been seen, but deep inside u know its all about d feel and u both knows wel where ur relation is leading..n because after marriage thngs shall worsen and you won’t b able to tke any step..
Think for urself atleast when it comes to marriage decision, families are not always correct.. Dont ruin your life jus on a hope that things will get better ..Marriage is love of two souls and what you shall lead with such a bond is just a comprised life..
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marriagesindiantradition 